Bringing about change

Those of us who suffer Anxiety know that when we have an attack, its the most terrible and scary feeling in the world.

So why do we have Anxiety?
Many of us have triggers to why our anxiousness gets the best of us. Triggers that make us go in a loop of thought over and over and over again.

This loop is the most dangerous thing in the world.
Our thoughts can kill us in a more effective way than a meteor hitting us directly over our head.

So how do we get out of this loop?
The loop is the most difficult thing to get out of. We all have thoughts that disturb us, and that traumatize us so much that we feel ashamed of it.
It's normal to feel ashamed. It's us trying to reason with the fact that nice people do exist in the world. So if not blame someone else, let's just blame ourselves.
But.. we all need to know , that any incident is never really our fault. There has to be someone else who is involved.
yes, the fault intensity could differ, but people like us tend to make us look like the predators more than the victim.
In some way , even though we arent judging someone else, we are judging ourselves.
We do not have the right to judge anyone. Everyone is built in a certain way due to their circumstances and environment. If we do indeed do something, its only because at that moment we really wanted to do that thing.
We should be glad we followed our instincts rather than regret not doing that.
and in case of regrets for not doing it, we cant change what has already happened, we can just learn from our past, and learn how to not make mistakes, or make mistakes to learn.

It sounds confusing, but making mistakes is a big neccesity in life. If we do not make mistakes we will never be able to learn from them, we will never be able to move forward and know how to deal with a similar situation.

I confess i've made a lot of mistakes, and somehow even though im not proud of them, it makes me the essence of who I am today.

I don't know if anyone else likes how I am, but it shouldnt really matter, because even though change is a neccesity , its not easy to bring about.


So after all this talk about anxiety, i'd like to just say,  we can deal with it, only if we really want to.

It's not embaressing to seek external help, but at the end, as they all say only you can help yourself.

As i've said before, let your past go, and move on, allow yourself to bring about that change, Let go of those rigidities you've built over the years, you call them defenses, but these things act as hinderence to your current environment. That is your present.

Live in your present, not your past and not your future.
and if an opportunity for change comes forward, even though things seem scary, take that risk.

Change will always bring about the best in you, in the most unexpected moments.

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this, and it helped you, like it has helped me writing it.

The refresh button

So after placements, I finally managed to get my dream job.

All those agonizing rounds, meeting with people, i did get it, on my own merit. I can be proud to say that they did see something in me which i didnt see in myself. I honestly still don't.

Okay enough about the update on what i'm doing.

Today I'd like to talk about hitting the refresh button.

So recently i've been not writing, and writing is my only source of sharing my thought process with the world.
So what's been going on, what have I learnt since the horrible birthday I had.

Interestingly enough, I see a change in me. This all started with those 20 days alone to myself, it did give me some time to think about what I want and what I don't and what still bothers me.

Somehow someone planted this weird thought in me, and trust me i've been thinking about it ever since.
Why does so many things happen to me?

Maybe I am just imagining it happening, and its not really there. If i were delusional....... I'd still think it was real, so am i delusional? or is this real? baah! this thought has been eating me up for a week now.

There is an easy way to get rid of this thought.. but as rules go, i can only advice people on how to do things, me following them is a totally different task.

Have you ever refreshed your page because it stopped working or it started having a glitch of a sort? Started it all over, because you couldnt continue?

Life is much like that. To stop these kinds of thoughts, and to stop all the bad things.. you need to refresh yourself, and let go of your past.

It sounds easier than it is doing, because letting go of your past, means letting go a part of you, which has made you the way you are right now.
Sometimes the past becomes a safe place, no matter how bad it is.
It's easier to be who you know yourself to be, rather than being someone you wouldnt be sure of.

This sounds confusing but its true.
People go to therapy because they feel depressed, sad , lonely.
Therapists say the same thing. Past is what makes us who we are.

To support myself with an example, lets talk about chocolate -
So suppose if you decided to buy milk chocolate and you forgot to eat it, so this chocolate melts and when you finally decide to eat it, you think its too molten and you decide to refrigerate it. The chocolate would interestingly enough not retain its shape, because we did not handle the chocolate properly.


Our memories is like chocolate, we need to consume it when we have it and let it go, and let it be the past.

We will get newer chocolates as days go by, and sometimes even better chocolates than before.


So if you dwell on your past, today is the perfect day to hit the refresh button, and go buy yourself some nice chocolates,
which reminds me I need some chocolates,
Have a beautiful day guys