25..... I can legally drink now.

It's a milestone when you reach your mid 20's. The transition from early to mid is hard hitting, yet the consolation lies in the fact that you can drink legally now. I will probably find myself flashing my ID on purpose in Bars now for at least a year.

This birthday was special.
Ever since I was a kid, my parents had ensured I had pretty birthdays, but due to me being born on 15th august, there were some restrictions. As a kid, I did not mind those restrictions, as an adult I do mind, and so do my friends. (14th shopping is the best for that problem)

Incidents around my birthday month made me feel a little weird about celebrating birthday, so this time I had decided to chill, and not push anyone for anything. Well apart from lams, who was showering me with gifts.

14th evening I came home from work, and was just chilling. I wanted to sleep, but Parthavee and Lameeya wont let me sleep. Both of them wanted to keep me up, and with the arrival of Parthavee's cousin, we had wine. Chenin blanc grovers to be precise. Anyway, with wine and stuff, i was pretty high and sleepy.

Then lams and I retired to our room. I did expect the cake at 12am. Thats like a ritual, but I did not expect tea lights in the room. I mean, they were right there, but I did not see it thanks to her cleaning the whole house. Because of the massive change. I did not notice the other change.

Also, she gave me the moon. I have this running thing, when someone asks me what I want, I say I want the moon. Well now I have the moon (Lots of hindi songs here).

We slept at about 2am, woke up by 7am, because BIRTHDAY BREAKFAST!!!

We went to Leela Palace, Chanakyapuri. The buffet spread was good, and even better was sitting with Malvika Ma'am, and finding it super cool that she is doing her bucket list. Hopefully in 5 years, lams and I get to do ours.

We come home, and I had decided I would visit my parents in the evening. But, surprise came in the form of them arriving with tons of food. As usual mom's food tastes delicious. So, it was Mom, Dad, Lams, Parthavee and myself. Though Parthavee had to run to gurgaon for some work (suspicious behaviour i tell you)

I think my mom is horrible at keeping secrets, I mean I got suspicious with her amused expression, and she thinks she is a good liar but she isnt. So i knew more people were coming. Question was who.

Though the thought got diverted when Parthavee arrived with the most AWESOME CAKE EVER!
I CRIED WHILE CUTTING THE CAKE!

Mom and Dad had food and we had gone down to drop them when I saw Anuradha pull in with her car. Like what?!! Thats an awesome surprise. Is Anuradha going to eat all that food? XD

Oh I was meeting her after a while, and yet, its nice to see her.

Neha came next, and I gots more flowers! She chilled with us all, and we enjoyed quite a bit.

I mean more people came, pelu being first, and sad about no alcohol. Well. Maybe next time.

Shout out to Indrani, Eva and Maya for coming over. It was good.

Yes I was high, and I needed that, it made it amusing and fun.


In the evening, Lams, Parthavee and I were chilling. Soon it was just Lams and Myself, and thats it.

I think birthday's are supposed to be like this, and my content at the celebration is because of my old age.

This birthday, I am looking forward to my next birthday with lams, and the few ones after that.
Hopefully we are in a system soon where everything is legal.

Religion, Society, Politics and Rape - Why we need feminism.

Before I start to write this, I want you all to know that Rape is a very personal thing to me. Been through something like that, blaming myself for years (still do) I get very triggered reading these things. I decided to dig into different practices of religions, society and politics to understand why so many rapes happen. Hopefully this covers why we have this rape culture.
Also I don't expect any I'm sorry this happened to you, so don't bring my story up, because this is the world we are talking about.

Religion and Society -

This is not about the segregation of Islam, Hinduism, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, etc. etc. etc.
Its about one thing. One word, Patriarchy.

What is Patriarchy?
Patriarchy is a social and economic structure where men hold power. This practice has been very prevalent since forever. To understand this, think about how in most countries, positions of power are held by men. If that does not make it clear, think about the fact that most women have to take the man's last name to her own after marriage.

Most religions hold beliefs that men hold positions of power. Basically the bread winners who come back home their wives (home makers) who basically has to feed him and keep her legs open for him, so that he can put his seed in her, to grow a child. A child who is taught as he/she grows up that their father is the head of the house. I have gone through various beliefs and practices, and its very open to interpretation. However Interpretation has been done by men, which has led to the following things -

In Hinduism, let's talk about the Manusmriti. I will not cover the whole thing, but just some points -

• A bramhin should not have meals in the company of his wife, and should avoid even looking at her.
• A female child or an old woman are not supposed to work independently, girls are supposed to be in the custody of the father, married women in the custody of their husbands, and widows in the custody of their son (lets hope followers of this don't have any sons) .
• In no circumstances she should be allowed to ascert herself independently. A man, no matter how perverse or immoral must be worshipped and served by the wives.
• The only duty of wives is to obey and please their husbands (Who by now sound like animals).
• It is the duty of every husband to exert total control over their wives, even if the husband is physically weak he must strive to control his wife.
• Women are not supposed to recite Vedic mantras because women are impure. 

There are some weird laws as well e.g. - If a woman has sex with a man of a higher caste she isn't punished, however if she has sex with someone of a lower caste she is punished and kept isolated. (I just wrote this because its funny).


In Islam, The following things have been reinforced by men -

• Men take multiple wives without the consent of the first wife, though they have to give equal property, time and love. (I personally feel this is to feel better about themselves) However! women are not allowed to marry multiple people.
• The testimony of a woman is also considered to be half of that of a man.
• A son gets 2/3 of a property while the woman gets 1/3 of the property. 
• Righteous women are obedient to men, and for those women who are prone to disloyalty and illconduct, Islam prescribes admonishing them first, refusing to share their beds (woah they make it seem like not having sex is a punishment, nice!) and lastly beat them lightly (again... how does someone beat anyone lightly? like how?). However some interpretations of this interpretation think that interpretation is wrong (uh........). Though it does not matter what the interpretation is as many nations with sharia law have refused to consider or prosecute cases of domestic abuse.

In Christianity, The following teachings are there in the bible. There are many things, however I've covered only a few.

• Genesis 3:16 - In pain you shall bring for the children yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. (Erm.... but I like girls.) 
• Exodus 20:17 - Ten commandments mentioned the wife as property.
• Deuteronomy 22:23-24 - If a woman lies with someone she is not engaged to, stone her to death.

The reason why Christianity is not noticed much is because it somehow is not followed by most people. Though those who do follow it follow a patriarchal structure of living.

Let's come to the modern world. Where people who make up society and work. India has had its first woman president, who btw was downplayed quite a bit. US hasn't had a female president till now. Last candidate lost against Donald Trump, who we all know is oh so popular for his phrase "grabbing by the pussy"

But I am talking about India and its culture. Where people seem to not believe that rape is actually a thing. The first thing they do is not believe the victim. Even if they do, there are questions like what were you wearing? Why were you alone at night? You must have done something to trigger the rape.
Victim blaming is the first go to most people have.

Politics -

With patriarchy being so prevalent in the society, it is not surprising that rape is actually a very common thing. Add politics to that mix. Politicians using rape cases against ruling parties. Ruling parties belittling opposition by bringing out their rape cases. Almost like its a weapon to use against other people to gain power. This is where it bothers me. It almost sounds like rapes happen because of political unrest. They presume women are weak to actually stand up to this, and talk about consent.
Indian Judiciary, legislation and administration should be three separate functioning entities, however they have all become this epic cluster.

This has lead to the following things -

• Now we have rape cases being showcased as political agenda. *slow clap* 
• There are people who start victim blaming.
• Rape is so common, that news doesn't phase anyone anymore.
• Rape is a tool to showcase power. 
• Unrest between Hindu and Muslim communities are settled by who rapes who the most. This is so common, as this happens between riots, this happened during partition.

The solution -

Breaking down the social structures that has allowed Patriarchy to flourish even with evolution of human beings into the current modern society. Men who uphold patriarchy should be held accountable for their actions. Rape not being used as a threat or weapon towards women, political party. Victim blaming not being a thing.

The problem with the solution -
Men.


And that's why folks, we need feminism.

Ghosts

We all have ghosts,

Ghosts of our past, 

clinging on,

holding us, grounding us,

destroying us.

I have my own ghost,

something i am ashamed off,

something I believe is me,

my core, my soul, my heart.

I don't let the ghost go,

even though I know it's destroying me,

It's my comfort, my home, 

even though its terrifying.

I am scared of it,

I am afraid of letting it go,

who am I without it?

what am I without it?

I found love,

It protects me from my ghosts,

but I still have them, 

lurking around, waiting to show up.

When my ghosts show up,

I stop functioning,

I start living in my past,

recreating every moment. 

I am afraid of letting them go,

I really am, 

I need to let them go, 

I know, I know, I know!

But, they hold on, I let them,

they have been there,

the only constant,

the only survivor,

because I died a long time back.

Quarter Life Crisis

Lets start with the light,
The light we see,
when we come out into the open.
We do not remember this light,
as we spend more time in this world.

Lets move forward,
when we take our first steps,
Steps that will soon turn to running.

Running,
Running away from our problems,
Running into our parents,
because they protect us
Protect us from the world.

The world looks so big and wide,
as we grow older, we meet new people,
People who have different views,

Soon we end up learning,
our history, our geography, even our language,
We find ourselves with tough choices.
We get hurt, but we learn to get up.

Soon we join another institution,
a school of thought,
a new belief,
Different, from the one we learned,
but we adapt, because its the way of the world.

One fine day, we find ourselves in between,
between the work force that make us steam,
one day, we get ourselves so worked up,
nothing makes sense,
what you do is not enough,

All that you learned,
seems useless now,
and youve come to a age,
where you cant adapt,

You are too old,
to get back to your parents,
and too young,
to get on moving,

Now you feel like you are
stuck in a loop,
where your thoughts are moot
and you cannot move forward.




(suggested by Lali! ) <3

We are born to die.

Death is absolutely certain , specially when you are living. 

You know it will end one day, 

For some its sooner, 

For some it never comes.

Sometimes you know when its coming,

Sometimes you plan it for yourself,

and most times it just comes, 

surprising you, surprising everyone. 

They say its cowardly to take your own life,

Because it shows weakness. 

Tell that to the soldiers who fight for us,

That another day, is just lucky for them to have.

Death does not differentiate, 

it just takes you, 

Whether you are lonely and hurting,

or you have everything working for you

Death takes you to a place you do not know off,

or takes you to nothingness, 

or it decides to just take you there,

bring you back, 

resurrect you into a different life.

A life that will again end.

Because death is all that we have, 

all that we are ,

all that we succumb to.