Ghosts

We all have ghosts,

Ghosts of our past, 

clinging on,

holding us, grounding us,

destroying us.

I have my own ghost,

something i am ashamed off,

something I believe is me,

my core, my soul, my heart.

I don't let the ghost go,

even though I know it's destroying me,

It's my comfort, my home, 

even though its terrifying.

I am scared of it,

I am afraid of letting it go,

who am I without it?

what am I without it?

I found love,

It protects me from my ghosts,

but I still have them, 

lurking around, waiting to show up.

When my ghosts show up,

I stop functioning,

I start living in my past,

recreating every moment. 

I am afraid of letting them go,

I really am, 

I need to let them go, 

I know, I know, I know!

But, they hold on, I let them,

they have been there,

the only constant,

the only survivor,

because I died a long time back.