Relationships and everything else

As much as I would like to talk about my dating life here, this piece is more about individual relationships.

I recently met someone who told me that you are defined by the 5 people who are around you. I thought about it, and if I really want to get into the whole ordeal of relationships, I dont think I have a very very strong bond with anyone but those select few.

Do they define how I act?
I don't think so. Things I have recently discovered about myself is that I have a pattern. A pattern that I will do destructive behaviour till I am completely drained. The drained out me is too tired to argue about matters, and I just go with the flow. This happens till i regain energy, and then I seek a second to my reign of destruction.

I dont like being alone. Nobody does, but being a lesbian in this country, its not the law that bothers me. It's more of the societies impact on my parents.

I dont live in a society where I can say I am gay, and it wont bug me what people say because I am happy. I live somewhere where people think your parents failed as people, if you turn out to be gay. I mean who cares if that's what makes you happy?
Certainly not the society, because its absolutely their right to poke their f*cking nose in somebody else's business. AND they cant see you happy, because if you are happy, they get jealous.

People forget that children do grow up. When I step out of the house, I am my own person. My parents raised me yes, and I couldn't be more proud of myself. They have taught me things that matter. Things like being there for people at their worst times. It doesnt matter if you cant be there for the good times, but you should always be there during sadness.
They taught me how to love.
They taught me how to be responsible for myself, and the fact that just because I am a girl, it does not mean I cant do stuff.
I find myself having a good job, good education, good house only because they did their best to ensure I had the resources.

Having said, they didnt make me who I am. It is my life experiences, the people in my life, everything that made me who I am.

I made friends in school, college even after college. That impacted how I turned out to be as well.

I know what is right and wrong, and I know what is just wrong.

Discriminating someone on the basis of who they love is wrong. Love is supposed to be positive, its one of the most positive feelings in the world.
Not doing something for someone who is being beat up/teased/harrased in public is wrong.

I know what I believe in, and it involves people not being hurt by my actions. However if my actions are directed towards how I want to live, I think its not anybody's business to be hurt. It is my business. If my actions hurt me, then I would not blame anyone else but me.

However If I listen to people, and do what they ask, and live an unhappy life just because its the "right" thing to do. I will resent them.


It's up to you guys to decide what you would rather have.


Signing off till then.