Taking a stance

It's been a while since I wrote here.

Not because I didn't want to, but because I had a hard time processing things that were happening.


A few weeks back, I let go of all the inhibitions i had about letting go and finally let go of my family. You know how I was more worried about how I would displease them, what people around would say, what it makes me seem like.

I was more concerned about how people perceived me to be rather than being more focused on what I felt.
I believed making others happy, will make me happy. And it did, for a while.

As a child I remember wanting to be perfect. Studying more, scoring good marks, trying to be a good person. Why? Because I was told I was a selfish little brat, who cared about nothing but herself.

I still am told that, and if I say it doesn't affect me, I lie.

I have always tried to be the perfect child, you know the one who has a stable job, is independent, has always tried to do good by her parents, and by her family and by her friends.

My parents used to joke about how whoever marry's me will come and drop me home after a few months because they can't tolerate me.
Well guess what guys? It really did happen.

They weren't wrong.

I speak to my ex, and she tells me that...... I was the one who ended us. Because I was unstable.
Well, I still am, only a little different, a little better, a little older.

So before going into details about how things were, I would like to say how things are.


My parents havent contacted me because I ruined dad's birthday. Sad part is I know I did. I mean... i guess whatever I do isnt enough to please them.

Ofcourse you guy's dont understand what I mean, and think that what could be so serious, so bad that you would do something like that. Believe me I'd share , but then again, I care about my parent's still.

The fact that people do not know certain things make them super confident that they can get away with things. Ha if you guys knew how long this took for me to figure out.

Emotional blackmailing works. Only till the time i let it.


Anyway , clearly this thing is still bothering me . so i stop here. Take care Naina today