Fear

Have you ever been afraid?
Afraid of what people might think of you,
Afraid of what you might think of you,
If you want this way , instead of the other.

Fear has always been paralyzing to me.
Destroying relationships I thought I needed.
Jealousy and insecurities surfaced, 

because of my fear of myself.

I talk to people, and get to know them.
They think they know me, but they don't.
I hide myself, I hide the real me.
I let fear ensure that I never be vulnerable.

Fear has been my only friend,
It has also been my worst enemy.
Seeping in, to ensure I have no other friend.
Going away when I really need it most.

I stopped feeling fear for a while in my life,
Then the unspeakable happened,
And now... Fear clings on to me,
Like a horrible shadow, unwilling to let go.