2022 - The year of self work and growth

 2021 was a relatively good year, and I was starting 2022 with an absolutely new resolve. 

I remember thinking, okay Naina, let's start again. 

I was lucky enough to actually start working towards a new career immediately at the start of this year. 

I met some amazing people along the way, and I think getting back into a course was one of the best decisions for me because everything was just falling into place. 

I also understood myself a lot better this year, and I must say it helped me breeze through the first few months. Studying hard, cracking the first placement, and finally working in a place where people are cool and I feel safe. 

But my career is not the only thing I had to rework, I felt completely disconnected with a version of myself before I was ill. I don't know why that is, but I do feel like a completely different person. 

I also learnt how to be kinder to myself. I felt sad about how 2020, and 2021 was. There were just too many losses, but... 2022.... it was all about starting from scratch. 

I have been able to narrow down a lot of things about myself, including the people who were more harmful for me than i realized. I end this year disconnecting myself from those people, in hopes that I can finally be free of any trauma that had been haunting me for years. 

It's definitely not easy letting go of things that are familiar to you, regardless of how harmful it is. This can come in the form of very abusive relationships. 

I don't want to pretend to be or feel something I don't about people anymore. There is a certain freedom to owning your truth and not care how the other person feels about it. I think sometimes it's important to prioritize yourself and your understanding of yourself over everything else

This year was also about me embracing certain mental health issues I have, alongside the very obvious neurodivergence. I think I can probably say I am mostly okay with it and know how to harness it to be useful for me. 

I am in the process of understanding who I am as a person, and that is one of the reasons I have been mostly disconnected from the world. 

But yes, even with all of this, I also got engaged at the beach very romantically. We have had a hard time, and we worked on our relationship quite a bit this year. 

I end 2022 with a lot of great things, engaged, a new career, a new job, new friends, new games to obsess over, but most importantly, I am ending this year with a better understanding of myself. 

Thank you to everyone who has managed to stick around, even with me not really contacting them, 

but also thanks to those who left, because I would have never known how terrible you really are if you didnt. 

Okay last bit was mean, but why not embrace that I only want to be mean to these folks. 

With this last bit of honesty and embracement of my pettyness towards certain folks, I end my new years note.

May 2023 be even more interesting, and definitely more fun. 

Happy New Year everyone!